Oftentimes people come to couples counseling when they are deep in crisis. In fact, it may be a last-ditch effort to save the marriage even though you’ve been talking about divorce. Because of that, some people wonder whether it’s worth the time, energy, and cost. If you’re on your way to divorce court, is it better just to skip the counseling and head to a lawyer? Couples counseling may or may not save your marriage. But chances are that even if you end up getting a divorce, couples counseling can be an asset.
Couples Counseling Offer Crisis Management
If your relationship is in crisis, then couples counseling can help you deal with the immediate situation at hand. These appointments aren’t about deciding whether or not to get a divorce. Instead, they’re all about helping you each get back to a more balanced and centered place where it doesn’t feel like your world is falling apart.
It’s easy to know if you’re in a crisis if you’re the kind of couple that argues loudly. You fight constantly, tell each other that you can’t stand one another, and constantly threaten divorce. You can’t seem to agree on anything, and every little thing becomes fodder for an argument. However, you can also be in quiet crisis. Some couples simply withdraw from one another, avoid each other, and don’t talk at all. This, too, is a crisis. If you aren’t healthily connected, then crisis counseling for couples can help.
You may also find yourself needing couples counseling during a crisis that isn’t just about your marriage. For example, if one of you has a substance misuse issue or a mental health crisis, then it can cause your marriage to feel like it’s disintegrating. When a child gets ill, it can cause a crisis in the family. After a death in the family, grief can become a crisis when it isn’t dealt with over time. If one of you in the marriage is in crisis, then the marriage might be in crisis, and couples counseling can help you get stable again.
Couples Counseling to Decide About Divorce
Once you are each in a more stable place, you’ll be in a better position to make long-term decisions about your marriage. That’s when you can start getting honest about whether or not you want to consider a divorce. You may decide that you want to work through things. If you’ve gotten to the point where you were considering divorce, then chances are that you need to do some mending to the relationship as well as learn new communication skills in order to move forward in a healthy way.
Alternatively, you may decide not to stay married. If one or both of you becomes clear that divorce is what you want, then therapy can help you process that together. You may wonder why you’d want to be in therapy with someone that you’re planning to divorce. However, you’ve had a relationship with this person for a long time. They are a key part of your life. Working through the issues that brought you to this point together can help you both in the long-term, even if the relationship is coming to an end. Couples counseling can help you deal with individual and shared feelings of grief, loss, hopelessness, and fear about the future. It can also help you work through some of the practical aspects of divorce in a safe setting.
Kathryn McNeer, LPC specializes in Couples Counseling Dallas with her sound, practical and sincere advice. Kathryn’s areas of focus include individual counseling, relationship and couples counseling Dallas. Kathryn has helped countless individuals find their way through life’s inevitable transitions; especially that tricky patch of life known as “the mid life crisis.” Kathryn’s solution-focused, no- nonsense counseling works wonders for men and women in the midst of feeling, “stuck,” or “unhappy.” Kathryn believes her fresh perspective allows her clients find the better days that are ahead. When working with couples, it is Kathryn’s direct yet non-judgmental approach that helps determine which patterns are holding them back and then helps them establish new, more productive patterns. Kathryn draws from Gottman and Cognitive behavioral therapy. When appropriate Kathryn works with couples on trust, intimacy, forgiveness, and communication.